This will be my final blog entry. I've decided to end my blog. I can't guarantee that I won't pick this blog up again but for now it is finished. Erryn I don't know if you still read my blog but I don't won't you to read this final entry as I feel it may upset you. I'm sorry but my final entry isn't funny or anything like that. It is a an emotional entry, and if you don't like this kind of thing, then you'll probably find it sappy and lame. It's about the death of my dog, Jonty. She died today.

She ran in the loungeroom and lay on her little cushion . The sickness well and truely had her now. She was swollen, in the face and around her stomach, she was starting to go blind and now the poor thing was so weak that she needed to sleep most of the time. I admired that she still had the capacity to jog, if only for a few seconds. Jonty snoozed on her cushion while I watched tv. My mother walked in and tearfully informed me she was taking Jonty to the vet. I knew this was coming, I wasn't in denile about the fact my dog had very little time left. Still I thought we might keep her going for another week or two. I sat and watched the television for another hour occasionaly glancing at the poor little white and brown dog laying on her side. Mum came in, we sat on the ground and patted her for a while till I said to Mum "You better take her now". My mother walked out of the room and called the dog. Jonty rose to her feet and began to run out of the room "Wait!" I called after her. I grabbed the dog and hugged her, making sure my chin touched her head as my final show of affection. I whispered "Seeya Jont..." She jogged out of the room doing her little skip in between strides that she'd always done ever since I dropped her when she was a puppy. This would be the last time I would see her. I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. Sadness was painted all over my face. A few tears trickled down my cheeks. I pulled myself together, I had to go to work soon. I left early because I couldn't bare the thought of having to see my sister find out about Jonty. My mother decided that she would leave a note for Erryn saying the dog had died in it's sleep. It would be easier on her this way

The dog is at this moment in time lying in my shed wrapped in a blanket. My dad will bury her when he gets home tonight. I once had this philosophy about love and something similar to love which I called wuv. The difference between the two was that love was something that lasted forever while wuv was temporary love. Love that you only felt while the subject was around. I reasoned most people didnt infact feel love for their pets as they claimed but wuv. With wuv you mourned the death of your pet but quickly got over it usually in a matter of days, no longer then a few weeks. It sounds like a ridiculous theory but I still believe there are shreds of truth in it. But now with this theory I have to ask myself am I same? Do I only feel temporary love for my deceased pet? Or will I always have something in my heart for my dog? The truth is I don't know but right now I miss her. I miss her because there is nothing that can replace the beautiful relationship of a boy and his dog. There are so many things I miss already.

I miss the way she would greet me when I arrived home, she was always so full of joy her eyes were bright, her tail wagged like crazy. I miss the groans and funny sounds she would make. I miss the fact she hated other dogs. I miss how she would watch me eat my dinner, then never eat any of the scraps left on my plate because she was too picky. I miss watching her get excited by the prospect of going for a walk. I miss the way she used to follow me around during thunder storms because I made her feel safe. I miss the way she would shake like crazy for absolutely no reason. I miss how she used to sleep on my bed and never sleep at the end, but right in the centre so that there was no room for me. I miss watching her stress out when my parents went for walks because she didnt think they were coming back. I miss sitting on the floor and having her crawl in my lap and fall asleep, she was always so warm. I miss singing to my dog and having intellegent conversations with her. I miss taking her for walks. I miss how if you stopped patting her she would nudge your hand until you started patting her again. I miss how she was terrified of my friends but would still let them pat her. I miss the fact that she didn't know any tricks or games. I miss the times when I would call her and she would stare at me then walk away. I miss how soft her ears were. I miss the little paw prints she'd make on the pavement after walking through water. I miss watching her get bathed and how much she pretended to hate it. I miss how fluffy she was after a bath. I miss cold nights when I would have to go outside and put on her doggy jumper so that she would stay warm outside. I miss how she always wanted to come inside. I miss the little skip she had in her step. I miss the way she licked my hand. I miss the fact that she loved me so much she was willing to chew through a window just to get to me. I miss the clicky clattery sound her paws made on my kitchen floor. I miss flicking her ears inside out. I miss the way she always made me feel better. I miss her...

There is only one good thing about death and that is that it gives you a renewed appreciation for how beautiful life is. It's through the sadness. It's one emotion people don't feel enough. Not depression, that's something completely different. Sadness is one of the most wonderful things a person can feel, it's so uncommon, it's so hard to hide, and so hard to express. You always feel refreshed after, things feel different. You stop taking things for advantage, your mind starts to tick over and over and it becomes close to impossible to shut your brain down. Atleast that's the way I feel. I can't guarntee others feel the same. Through the death of one of one things I loved most I begin to feel reborn in a way that is quite indescribable. Still all that aside I still miss her.... and I think I always will....

One day when Sam's brother Dan was driving Sam and I somewhere(Can't remember where) we arrived at our destination and before I exited the car Dan turned around to me and said "Hey Louis I'm having a party in two weeks if you want to come". Now I was in year ten at this time and had never in my life been to a decent party. "Alright" I replied as I hopped out of the car. The party was Dan's 19th or something I think, and it would be at Sam's house.

Sam also invited a few other people including Daniel, Dubs and Ferney aswell as some other people I didnt know. He told me to invite chicks, so I invited my friend Mia. Also attending the party would be Gene Mercer, who happened to be friends with Dan. I found this out a few months before the party when Sam I and a few others where in the kitchen. I was standing at the kitchen bench when Dan walked in with a few of his friends and Gene was one of them. I saw him and he saw me and we both found ourselves very surprised that we both knew particular members of the Adams family. Anyway I mention this because Gene is an important part of the story.

After arriving at the party with Mia I began drinking with my friends, I believe we had a slab of beer and it was going down well. We sat at the table near Sam's pool drinking beer. Eventually Gene came out and started chatting to Sam and I, then he returned to his friends. We decided to go for a walk. Ferney grabbed his full bottle of vodka and we left. We walked around BP and down Gloucester and around the general Belair area for about half an hour. Then we went and sat at the playground across from BP. I noticed Ferney's vodka seemed...less. Wasn't that full when we left on our walk? A few people went over to BP, Mia was one of them. They started walking back, they walked past a bunch of guys and one of them said something to Mia, she turned and started talking to them. "What is she doing with those guys?" I said to whoever was standing next to me. I turned away and chatted for a while then turned back and realised Mia and the guys she was chatting to were gone. "Huh? Where'd.... where'd Mia and those guys go?" I said in a drunken stupor. Someone replied "Uh I think she got in that guys car, they must have gone for a drive"
"What!? Why would she do that? She doesnt even know those guys!! What if she doesn't come bacK??" Eventually I calmed myself down with another beer. We walked back to Sam's. Dubs Ferney and I sat back at the poolside table "Woah Ferney! What happened to all your Vodka?" He had drunk three quarters of his vodka and continued to swig "Uh maybe I should take that away from you Ferney, I think you're drunk" said Dubs. Ferney became furious Dubs would make such a claim. He retorted "I'm Not DRUNK!!! I'm FERNEY!!!" he hammered home his point by slamming his fists on the table. The vibration tipped over several bottles of beer which Dubs and I quickly turned upright before beer went everywhere. More people became aware Ferney was furiously drunk and needed his booze taken away from him. Some guy I didnt know started trying to lure Ferney to his car. I went to the toilet and when I came back I found that Ferney had been carried over to the grassy patch just across from Sam's house, a group of people were standing around him looking down. I walked over, he had now passed out, there was a small pool of vomit next to him. I shook my head "Oh Ferney"

I would stand around this area for a while and talk to my friends, Daniel would sit and watch over Ferney for the next few hours while we went and did other stuff. Sam was annoyed at Ferney. I thought the whole situation was funny and I was having a good time at this party despite the fact I didnt know where the fuck Mia was. Daniel Wilsdon walked up to me and asked me "Hey whats up?" I told him about Ferney then asked him if he'd seen the girl I was with earlier that evening he said no. I launched into my story of how she drove off with some guy and I didnt know where she was and how I think I'm gonna be in trouble if she doesnt come back. I managed to scare him away by doing this as after I finished he quickly turned and walked away. A few minutes later Gene walked up to the crowd watching Ferney "What happened here?" he asked
"Oh, he drank too much and passed out" I replied. He stared at Ferney for a few seconds then his eyes light up. "Heeeeeeeeeeeey let's draw a dick on his face!" I contemplated the thought in my head "Ok!" I asked Sam if he had a texta anywhere, he went and got one. Gene bent down to Ferney's level and with a look of determination began drawing a penis on his face. Eventually he stepped back and said "Yeeeeeaaaaah" it was complete. People took a look at it and began to chuckle. Mia eventually came back much to my relief. She told me she had gone for a drive with those guys and had sat and talked to one of the guys in his car at Windy Point. I asked if that was all she did. She assured me it was.

Ferney was moved inside as it was getting cold. He was moved to the room next to Sam's garage. Sprawled on the floor people continued to write things on him and even began shaving his legs and putting shaving cream down his pants. It stopped when someone got yelled at by Sam's mum for being cruel to the poor passed out drunk. a few weeks later at another party I saw Ferney drinking at a party "Might want to slow down there Ferney, remember what happened last time you got drunk?" He stared at me blankley and replied
"No... I don't"

Most people know of my infamous dog, Jonty. It's a little wussy Jack Russell Terrier that is scared of most people but adores me. I got my dog when I was eight and still have it as you may have guessed. Poor old dog has Leukaemia and hasnt got long to live. Which makes me sad, at the moment her eyes weep her stomach is swollen and she has an incrediable appetite. Anyway lets steer away from that subject.

Now to suggest I have a complex relationship with my dog is an understatement. Most people patronize their pets like crazy. So do I to a degree, but I treat my dog like a person more often then I patronize her like a pet. My dog is infact my worst enemy. When I'm alone with my dog I have wild arguments. Like crazy lady who talks to cats arguments. Except I'm the crazy one and I talk to my dog. Here's a typical argument.

*Louis is in kitchen preparing food, he is standing at chopping board. Dog is watching him with wide eyes in anticipation of possible charity from Louis.*
"What are you looking at Dog!?"
*Dog stares blankly at Louis, then back to chopping board*
"Oh I see Dogface, you dont want me! You've never wanted me! You're just in it for the food!"
*Dog still focused on food*
"Let me tell you something doggy! You ain't getting none of this food!"
*Dog pays no attention*
"Over my dead body"
*Dog glances at Louis, turns back to food*
"Oh I see how it is... Well dog I don't think you have the guts"
*Louis backs away from dog as if the dog is brandishing a knife*
"It doesn't have to be like this Jonty! What happened to us!? Why don't we talk anymore!?"
*Louis runs out of kitchen sobbing hysterically*

Yeah ok I admit its kind of weird but I get some weird sense of enjoyment adlibbing with my dog. Perhaps it's because of a lack of conflict in my life, or maybe it's a result of having no real nemesis. I also love to rouse her from her sleep. When she's snoozing on the couch I can't help myself, I walk over and start nudging her saying in a whiny tone"Doggis.... wake up". That's another thing I do, make up an endless stream of nicknames for her. Eg. Doggis, Doghead, Dogface, Dog for brains, Dogarowski, Dogtwa, Diggidy Dowg, Jontwa, El Dogito and so forth. Plus an endless stream of insults. Horrid Hound, Ghastly Beast, Mangy Mutt, Krafty Kanine and so forth.

Now that you know all this pointless information let me begin with my story about my fair Doggis. It was summer and a few weeks before school started again. My parents and my sister had gone away for a few days. My sister was due back tomorrow my parents the same day only a bit later in the afternoon. Sam was having a party that night and I would be attending it soon. No one was home. Except my dog. I knew it would follow me to the party. I had two choices, chain it up outside or leave it inside. I thought I would leave it inside, I mean its not like the dog could really do anything inside. I put the dog in the loungeroom and closed the door. I left my house and walked to the party. The party was pretty good. Dodds tried to kill himself after a conversation about the Street Fighter movie. He was sitting at the table on the balcony of Sam's house. I walked outside to the balcony just in time to hear him scream "No! I hate that movie, infact I hate it so much I'm gonna kill myself!!!" I watched him run to the balcony rail and dive over it. "Dodds! No!" I yelled after him. I lunged and grabbed his leg but he was just out of my reach. My grip failed and he flipped over the balcony and fell 5ft down onto the concrete stairs. I grabbed the rail and looked down the stairs. "Dodds? Are you ok?" Dodds lay crumpled on the stairs. "Yeah I'm fine" he groaned.

Later that night we left. Dubs Daniel. Dodds, James and Rhys had all decided to sleep at my house. Most of the guys arrived before me, I had given one of them a key so they could get in. When I arrived home Dubs came to me and said "Uh Louis, I think you better come to the loungeroom, I think your dog has gone crazy". Oh shit. I walked to the loungeroom and saw a trail of destruction. There was dog shit all over the rug. the rug itself had been chewed to hell as had the carpet. The dog had also mauled the christmas tree, about a quarter of it was missing. There was debree all over the ground that consisted of fake tree brances, chewed up decorations, carpet, rug, wood and other unidentifyable things, as the centrepiece for this Christmas destruction my dog had chewed the angel that once sat proudly atop of our tree. "Holy shit..." I couldn't quite comprehend how the dog got to the angel at the top of the tree. How did it get to the top??? Dubs chimed in "When we first walked in here we thought someone had broken in, see look over at the window". The window at the very end of the loungeroom had been pryed open. There were claw marks all over the wall and embedding in the window frame, much of the paint had been chipped off and there where many pieces of splintered wood now embedded in the carpet. The window now wide open, once had a fly screen. No more. The skelatal frame of the fly screen now had a gaping hole in it, what remained attached to the window had imploded out of the frame and now hung just outside the window, This could only be caused by the sheer force of one very desprite Dog wanting to get out. Bursting through like she'd been shot out of a cannon.

"Ok did the dog grow opposable thumbs while I was gone!.... I'm gonna get blamed for this..." The next day I cleaned up most of the mess, but not all of it. I couldn't find all the Christmas tree. Meaning that a few parts now possiblly resided in my dog's stomach. My sister came home I explained the situation and she cut sick at me for not cleaning up all the debree. She left to go to work and told me to clean the house before our parents came back. I didnt and left the house leaving a note explaining what happened and arguing that it wasnt my fault the dog went crazy. Later in the day I was walking through Belair when my parents rang me and told me they were home. I went home and they of course blamed me, but I didnt get punished and they weren't really angry. The dog also got off scot free, oblivious to what it had done.

I hadnt noticed that when I came home from Sam's party the dog had greeted me. I was so used to walking down my driveway and having my dog run up to me that it just didnt enter my mind that the dog was supposed to be inside. If the dog had done this a week earlier it would've been Christmas then. Chances are it would've torn all the presents up thus ruining Christmas. That's right! My dog hates Christmas and clearly has no calander! It may not have alot of time left in what is now its short life but I know that it's plotting, plotting something else before it goes to doggy hell. I can't sleep at night all I can think about is that dog and the pure evil that resides in its black heart. IT'S EVIL I TELL YA! EEEEVVVVIIIIILLLL!!!!!!

Behold! THE EVIL!!!

This story is about my neighbour. As you would probably know considering you voted for it. Several people have heard me talk about ,y neighbour and the fact he's not quite right. Well here is the full story.

I've lived in my current house for about 14 years now. We have neighbours across the road, they're called the Roxberries or Rossberries... something like that. These people are rich assholes who think they are too good to say hello to commoners like my family. There has been several times when my parents have seen them in their front garden and said hello. The bastards do not reply. We also have our nextdoor neighbours. These people have lived at their house longer then we've lived at ours and they own a land shifting business. This means they own lots of trucks and tractors. Anyway thats slightly irrelevent

Now the head of this household is a gruff old man who is almost a stereotype of a typical hard working Aussie bloke. He has a wife who is actually his second wife she is from the Philippines and he also has four sons all of which lived at home at the time despite the fact that they are in their twenties. When I was a little kid around the age of four and onwards till about the age of ten I used to go over to my neighbor’s house and they used to let me hang out with them. They were all a lot older then me. The youngest of the four sons Anthony, was the one I used to spend the most time with he was seven years older then me but he didn’t mind me coming over and he used to come over to my house and play my Nintendo. One day my older cousin Matt who was about the same age as Anthony came over to my house and he met my next door neighbours. He became friends with Anthony and I didn’t mind at all because I thought my Matt and Anthony were both cool so I estatic when they both came over and played video games with me. Once again slightly irrelevent

As I got older I started spending less time at my neighbors house. I had more friends now so I had people my own age to do things with. Around the age of ten about the only time I ever went over there was when my mum asked me to go ask them something, like to ask them if their power had just gone out or something alone those lines. The years went on and I saw less and less of my neighbors despite the fact that they live right next to me. Really the only time I saw them was when they were walking up their driveway or doing something with the trucks. As the Boys got older they started working for their dad in his land moving business. One day after school I went to a friends house for an hour or two. I was about eleven at the time when I returned home at about four thirty or so my sister was standing out the front of our house looking angry. She snapped at me that I had the key to the house and that she’d been waiting forty minutes to get in. I then said to her that I didn’t have the key and that I thought that she had it. After a short quarrel I decided to go over to the neighbors house and hang out with them until mum got home and opened the door. I walked over to their house and headed for the door of their rumpus room and there they were sitting around and playing video games.

I remember that rumpus room well despite the fact that I haven’t been there in a while. I remember the mangy looking furniture the pool table the dart board and the smell. I didn’t know what that smell was though. A mixture of body odor and something else I’ve never smelled before. They gave me a game controller and I started playing away mashing buttons and watching the bright pretty colours flicker across the screen. Then I noticed something in a shoebox on the ground. There was something in there it looked kind of like dried grass I had no idea what it was, but I didn’t really care I continued playing my game until my mother arrived home at which point I said goodbye and left. What I didn’t realize at the time was that this was going to be the last time that I would probably ever enter that room. More years went past and my next door neighbors had no impact on my life they were merely a background including Anthony the neighbor I had been good friends with.

Then three years ago things changed. Early in the year my mum told me that Anthony had been having problems recently, mental problems. He had been hearing voices, bad voices telling him bad things. The voices told him that he was worthless and no good. My mother told me that the neighbors had been worried about Anthony but now the voices had gone away thanks to some medication. A few months after telling me this my mum went out to our driveway to go and pick up the paper one morning. As she did she noticed that Anthony was standing on his driveway watching her. “Hello” said my mother. Anthony didn’t say anything just continued to stare. My mother continued walking obviously a bit puzzled as to why he hadn’t replied. Then finally, he did replied “Your daughters think they’re pretty funny huh?” My mother confused by what he said looked at him and replied “what?” “Going around and filming me with that fucking camera” then he turned and walked away leaving my mother even more confused but now very wary that Anthony was not well. When she got home from work that night she told me to be careful of Anthony and to stay away from him. The story she told confused me to. For one thing he said daughters and my oldest sister had moved out of home about three years ago. Also he had mentioned the video camera and it had been about two years since my sister that still lived at home had used it.

A few weeks later I was walking up to my bus stop that is across the road from Hungry Jacks. As I started crossing the road a man on the other side of the road started walking towards me he was shouting at me. The man looked like Anthony I remembered what had happened to my mother so I decided to turn and quickly walk away from the bus stop and walk to school. This incident freaked me out. I thought to myself “Was that Anthony? Why was he shouting at me? Was he going to hurt me?” I wasn’t sure about any of these questions so I decided not to tell my mum just incase it wasn’t him. After that life went on as usual and nothing like that came up again. I started thinking to myself that the crazy man that shouted at me that day must have been someone else.

Sometime in 2003 I had people come to my house after school that day. We watched the Animatrix in my lounge room where I have surround sound, I turned the volume up so loud that it woke my sister up. Any way shortly after we finished watching the movie all of my friends went home except for Rhys and Dodds. They stayed around a little longer and played on my playstation. We were in the rumpus room and I walked out to do something. All of a sudden I heard someone yelling they sounded really angry and were practically screaming. I walked back into the rumpus room and asked Rhys and Dodds if they’d heard what I did. They had and not only that they managed to catch some of what he was saying unlike me. They told me he was shouting about chicken and chips and swearing. I have to say I found this pretty odd. Why the hell would someone get so upset about chicken and chips? Later on Joel and Jacky told me they were also yelled at when they were walking up my driveway to go pick Joel’s little brother up from school. Scary.

Exam week in yr 11. I had a Biology exam in the morning and rather then walk or having to catch the bus to school my mother offered me a lift because she had to go to work early. I walked out the back of my house with my mum and we were about to walk over to the car when my mum saw Anthony arrive home in his car as he got out she waved to him. He then replied to the wave by giving her the finger with both of his hands and shouting threats and insults at her. I was shocked I didn’t really know what to do. So I turned away and pretended like I didn’t notice him shouting at us. Anthony’s father came out of the house and told him to cut it out. My mother then turned to me and said “Was that Anthony?” I replied “Yeah it was” she then drove me to school.

After that I didn't quite feel safe. One night when my mother came home I asked her about Anthony. “He’s got Paranoid Schizophrenia doesn’t he?” I asked “Yeah that’s what I’d say he has” she replied “Is this a natural thing?” “A while ago Anthony had the same problem and he said he thought it was from smoking marijuana” “Did he smoke too much, and so now it’s made him paranoid?” “No I think it’s just triggered it” We continued talking and she explained to me why he was acting so strange she explained that he thought that my sister was following him around with a video camera and that he thought that people were plotting against him.

In year ten Health we watched a Beautiful Mind, a movie that most people would have seen. It's about a mathematical genius that had the same mental condition that Anthony has. In the movie the main character dreams up people that don’t exist and situations that never really happened and he thinks that there are people who are out to get him. This I believed was the case with Anthony he thought that my family was plotting against him and that is why he shouted at us. I was scared that one day he is going to do something to us. He was scared of us and so he tried to intimidate us by shouting threats and insults. I no longer felt safe in my own house. Whenever someone opened the back door my heart skiped a beat. I got nervous walking up my road or down it. I wondered if I’ll run into him when I’m walking down my road to my house. I wondered, if he sees me how he’ll react. I wondered if he’d ignore me, try to hurt me or try to kill me. The thought that he might come into my house and kill my family and I had not escaped me. Though I doubted it highly, it was always in the back of my mind.

The good news is since all this happened I believe he has moved out as I hardly ever see him around anymore. However he hasnt completely disappeared. I often see his car parked at the neighbours house. I just hope that he's better now then he was before. I like living it's a thing I like to do. I would rather do it then not live. Consequently, please dont kill me!

Ok here's the entry that I've been most reluctant to do. Alright I admit there are several stories that I'm slightly reluctant to do, still this one is the worst. Now this is divided into two parts, the bad part and the good part followed by more bad part.....hmmm. Now the first part I'm gonna be talking about 'feelings' which is something I dont like doing and I'm simply doing it because I am whore for this blog. I'm probably going to feel like a tool for posting this story. Anyway if you're a guy you might want to skip some of the parts near the start even if it is vague. But these parts are written so people know how I was feeling at the time. Warning there may be wide use of similes, metaphors and analogies in this entry. Then again ther may not

It alllllllllllllllllllllllll began with a girl. It was summertime. Year 12 was about a month away. I had decided to grow basically everything on my body long... uh...ahem... Let me be more specific. I decided that I wanted long hair, because I had never grown it long before. So for the past few months I had been growing my hair. I also made the decision to grow my facial hair. Now many have seen me go unshaven for a week or two, but when I grew my facial hair that summer it looked alot different, the hair that grew on my upper lip was a soft peachfuzz type hair instead of the whiskers I know get. It looked pretty bad. The other thing I grew, was my nails. In a matter of weeks they became damn long, each nail was like 1cm long(which is damn long for a nail) and sharpened to a point. So I basically had claws. They were cool, even if most people found them gross and it became hard to pick stuff up. Also I had a habit of accidentally gouging and scratching myself. Still they were cool. Anyway this information is in no way shape or form related to the story.

Oooooooook so anyway it began with a girl. Many of you know who this girl is. Many of you don't. During this particular summer holidays. I became close to her, very close. I... fell in love with her. I did this in a very short period of time too. I had never had such strong feeling for a girl in my life, I had never been in love. When I was with her everything felt perfect. I had never been so happy. It looked as though we were going to start going out. Life was good, life was sunshine, flowers and puppydogs. Until something changed. I sensed it before it happened. It turned out that unfortunately while she liked me alot, she obviously didnt feel nearly as strongly for me. It was just after New Years when she told me, we were at a birthday party. "Uh... I'm really sorry, but I'm going through some things in my life at the moment, and... I... don't like you anymore". Just like that. A mercy killing. Quick and clean. In 1 second my happiness ended. I felt dazed like someone had just hit me in the head with a sledgehammer. Did she just say that? Or was I dreaming? She'd been acting weird around me today. My greatest fear just came true. I was overcome with numbness. "Thats ok" I lied "I'll be alright, I'll survive". I walked away. My parents had gone away for a few days and so I had people staying at my house that night. I felt like shit. There was this weird physically painful feeling coming from my stomach. I desperately wanted to be alone but I didnt want my friends to know that right now I was about to decend into depression. In the morning they all left except for Daniel who was supposed to be staying at my house for about 3 more days before my parents came home. "Daniel I think you should go home" I said to him
"Huh? Why?"
"It's... It's just my parents will be coming home in a few days and I want to tidy the house" It was a lie, but he believed it and left. Being alone was a bad idea. I really wanted to talk to someone but I couldnt bring myself to do it. I was going to try to cope on my own. It didnt go well that night. The night came, and I suddenly found myself all alone in my big empty house. It was 7 30 at night and I had never felt so alone and terrified in my entire life. My brain began to disintegrate, and I started acting weird, thank god no one was around to see how nutty I started acting. I became like this because I couldnt cope with the situation. For the first time in my life I could not cope at all. I didnt know what to do. I felt so empty. It was like a nuclear weapon had just exploded infront of me. I had been knocked on my ass, completley destroyed and now I sat in the shadow of the mushroom cloud. If your bad with metaphors I mean depression. Sorry if that last part sounded cheesy. I somehow managed to fall asleep that night. I woke with slightly more hope then last night, which had been the worst night of my life.

I had never experienced depression. I had had some pretty shitty things happen in my life. I'm not saying that I've had worse things happen to me then the average person, but I have had some very bad experiences. Even though my life was particularly shitty in year eight and to a degree year nine I never became depressed and I was for the most part relatively happy. This was something else. There is sadness which everyone experiences, then there is depression which is about one thousand times worse. I had heard many people say they had depression I never really believed them most of the time, and considered it an attention seeking ploy. But I definately had it. Everybody gets crushes and when they dont work out you get bummed out. You tend to have the "aw man that sucks, I really liked them" feeling, sometimes your upset for a few days sometimes for longer, but generally you get over your crush and it doesnt take up all your time thinking about what could have been. Often you find a new crush within a few days or weeks. Heartbreak is alot more intense. It's all you can think about, you dont go a minute without thinking about it and it doesnt fade away into nothing. It lasts. It lasts until you find someone else. Sometimes it just never leaves you. Anyone who has experienced it knows just have bad it is

So there I was stuck in the darkness of depression. I found the best way to rid myself of all these horrible feelings was to go out. It helped, being around friends. I didnt tell anyone exactly how I felt. I gave a few of my friends a vauge picture of how I felt. I made one attempt to talk at a party about what was going on in my head, it was to Chris and Sharai but I didnt really end up telling them much as I couldnt find the words and only made myself upset. One day I was sitting around my house feeling sorry for myself when the phone rang. It was Nina(Who seems to feature in alot of my stories for some reason)"Hey Louis!"
"Oh hey Nina" she informed me she was having some people over to her house for drinking a few days from now and asked if I'd like to come. I felt like shit and wasn't in the mood for going anywhere, especially because she lived all the way in Sterling. "So do you want to come?"
"Ummm"
"Oh and you can invite Sam"
"Uh, yeah, ok, yeah I reckon I'll come" We said goodbye to each other and I hung up. I felt bad because I had actually lied to her. I wasnt going to go. I was going to stay home and feel like shit instead. Later that day I talked to Sam and told him that Nina had invited him and I to her house. I then told him I wasnt going to go. "Fuck Louis! What the fuck!? Why dont you want to go???"
"I dont know man I just dont want to go"
"What the fuck!? No Louis we're going!"
*sigh* "I'm really not in the mood to go"
"Louis you are a fucking idiot if you dont go! There'll be chicks there and Nina so wants you"(Sorry if this embarasses you Nina but he was saying this)
"Oh ok! Fine! We'll go!" and we did go.

Sam's brother was kind enough to drive us deep into Stirling to Nina's house. I was feeling better then usual. When we arrived it was still light. As we got out of the car we saw Nina with some friends that were leaving, we were introduced then her friends left. We soon departed her house and went to the liquor store. One of her remaining friend's Emily(I'm pretty sure that was her name) drove us aswell as Nina's other friend who's name I cant remember he was a tall guy with a ponytail. The important thing was Sam and I got a bottle of Rum. We then went back to Nina's and began watching Legally Blonde 2 while drinking. I didnt enjoy the movie but I enjoyed my Rum. Soon a few more of Nina's friends arrived. One was a blonde girl called Alana. Then there were also three guys who were a year older then Sam and I, they were pretty cool guys and Sam had many an indepth conversation with them throughout the course of the night. I found myself drunk, I wasnt feeling depressed though, this was good. I was still sitting in Nina's longeroom watching the end of Legally Blonde 2. I didnt know why. Nina and Alana were doing shots in the next room, I could hear them giggling. I left the room with Sam and we chatted and ate some of the snacks that had been prepared. I needed to use the toilet. I walked to it and saw the door open and Alana stumble out. She wasnt doing a good job keeping her balance. "Hey careful there" I said. She stumbled forward into my arms and I caught her "Woah, I think you've had a bit too much to drink" she looked me in the eyes, it was a look I dont think I've ever experienced. We had a brief chat, before I went into the toilet. I noticed that she had been flirting with me. I didnt mind. It was just the thing I needed at that point in time. A few minutes later I ventured into a room where I found Alana and Nina were dancing to some music, Alana wanted to dance with me. "I think this is a sign Louis" I told myself. I went outside she came with me. I sat on the bench were others were talking she sat on my lap. Cool. We chatted with other people, before we moved into the loungeroom, I sat on the couch. I no longer felt heartbreak, or depression. I felt great, I couldnt remember the last time I felt this good. Alana sat on my lap and we began wo kiss. We made out for a while. Then Nina entered the room.

"Hey Guys, oooo what are you doing?" she said knowing perfectly well what we were doing. Nina lent over and gave me a long kiss. Alright! This night keeps getting better. She gave Alana a kiss aswell. And better. "Threeway kiss!" thus one was performed. And better. Threeway kisses dont work well, but are fun to boast about. Nina left. I made out with Alana some more till she said "Do you want to move somewhere else?"
"Like where?"
"The bedroom?" Now when I first heard this I thought she may have meant for sex. I'm not sure if it did. She didnt seem like that kind of girl, nor did it seem like a good time with other people being around."Oh I dont think thats a good idea" I replied
"I dont want you to do something you might regret"
"Oh ok we'll just stay here then" she said we resumed kissing. I'll never know if she meant go to the bedroom for sex or if she meant just for somewhere else to make out. Although I did at first, I dont think she did mean for sex. She just didnt seem like that type. I now assume she meant for some more privacy so we could makeout more. I would later tell Sam about the incident to which he would reply "Louis you fucking idiot! Why didnt you take the sex!? She wanted sex! why didnt you give her sex!?" To which I replied
"Sam I didnt want to be a sleeze who takes advantage of drunk girls"
"Weren't you drunk?"
"Yeah but still, I would've felt guilty" Nina if you read this (which you probably will) first of all I hope I havent pissed you off by telling this story. Secondly you can probably tell me what Alana meant by the whole 'Bedroom' comment.

The party continued on I talked to Nina's mum a bit. She was really cool. Eventually everyone made beds in the loungeroom and we watched Battle Royale, I was still drunk and not following the story very well. I remember that the crazy guy with the uzi was hardcore. I feel asleep next to Alana. I woke. It was about seven in the morning no one else was awake. Alana got up went to the toilet then came back and sleep more till her mum picked her up at about eight. I felt the need to go home. Sam was content to sleep for longer. I started bugging him "Sam I want to go home"
"What? But its early"
"I know, how are we gonna get home?"
"I dont know" we managed to get a ride out of the three guys Nina was friends with. On one condition we take them to the Hungry Jacks in Blackwood. They drove us home in their van and I took them to Hungries. It was shut. Didnt open for another hour. I got home. Made myself coffee and it began to dawn on me what triumph I had acheieved "Dude, you got with two girls at the same time!!!!" I felt proud of myself. None of my friends had done that. But I had! I began to giggle to myself. "I AM THE KING!" I felt great for a few minutes. Then it started to slowly drift back.

What have you done? That's nothing great. Thats no great achievement. You kissed two girls at the same time. So what? Are you going to go back to being your happy self now? Has your heart ceased to be broken? Is this what you wanted? Or do you still want her? I did. But I didnt have her. No! this is still funny story though I thought. My friends will want to know this. I will tell them and they will say "Awesome! I am so jealous!". Yeah! I told Dubs and Daniel and a few others. Then I changed my mind again. After telling Dubs and Daniel, I said "Hey can you guys not tell anyone else, I dont want people thinking I'm a sleeze" My brain was messing with me. It kept switching back and forth, between conservative and liberal. I'd think what I had done was a massive achievement then I'd change my mind and think that it was bad. I dont know why I thought this, there's nothing wrong with kissing! My brain was just confused. Overall now I just find it funny. Still it didnt give me what I needed. What I needed was her. I didnt have her. What I had gotten was an inbalance of karma. It was like the universe fucked up and said "Whoops I fucked you over pretty bad there, here I'll pay you back"

It didn't and it still hasn't.

There is only one good thing about heartbreak and that is that it makes you mentally tougher. It also makes you repress.

Now I lie alot. I'm usually pretty good at it and I usually get away with it. I usually only tell little white lies. Lying is a beautiful thing when done correctly.Unfortunately there are situations when you shouldn't lie. I learnt this one day when I went to my local GP. This is the story of how a little lie can snowball on you.

It was February of this year. My toe had been hurting like a bitch for a few months now. I had been trying to ignore it for as long as I could but now it was really starting to annoy me. I couldn't kick my footy any more without horrible pain and a sock full of blood. What I had was an ingrown toenail. Eventually I told my mother and she told me to go see the doctor and get part of the nail removed. I had actually been to the doctors a few months ago for my toe and the Doctor had given me some antibiotics to see if that would fix it. It didnt, so the only option was to remove part of the nail so it no longer dug into the side of my toe. I had a few days off of work (This was when I still worked at Maccas) so I made my appointment on my first day off, this gave me a few days for my toe to recover after the surgery. My mother gave me a lift to the doctors surgery, its the one near Foodland in Blackwood. I decided to wear thongs instead of shoes because I thought it would be easier on my toe after the surgery. Unfortunately I couldnt find my thongs so I had to use my Dad's. My Dad's feet are two sizes smaller then mine. This made it difficult to walk, as the back of my feet hung off the thongs. I entered the GP's.

I waited in the waiting room for about fifteen minutes until my name was called. The doctor I see is Dr. Bunton. He's a cool doctor and funny guy everyone in my family see him whenever one of us go to the GP. He took me to the operating surgery place. This doctors surgery can obviously only do basic surgery so the operating room essentially just looks like a dental surgery. I lay down on the operating table while Dr Bunton looked at my toe. There was a nurse with him. "Hmmm this does look rather nasty Louis, I think I will have to remove it". He instructed the nurse to get something for him she returned with surgical tools and bandages. He began the procedure by sticking a needle in my toe. Anaesthetic. Then he began to cut away. five minutes later he was done. He told the nurse to bandage my toe and then he left. The nurse tried to stem the bleeding on my toe and it actually took about half an hour before it stopped. She began to apply the bandage. She looked at me and said "Do you have a way to get home Louis?" I didnt.
"Uh yeah I have a way to get home" The lie had begun
"Oh ok its just that you're gonna need to keep this leg elevated, so we cant have you walking around"
"Oh ok"
"So how are you getting home?"
"Uh I'll get my sister to pick me up"
"Ok well I just need to go help Doctor Bunton, so why dont you give her a call and get her to pick you up" Oh shit! This had quickly gotten out of my control. I had now quite blatently lied to the nurse. My sister wasnt home she was at work. There's no way she can pick me up! But I dont know how I'm gonna get out of here without the nurse noticing. FUCK!!!! I'M TRAPPED!!! I began to feel panicky. What do I do now? Wait till the nurse comes back and say "Uh sorry I actually lied, my sister isnt even home, I have no way of getting back to my house! I'm a lying douchbag!!!" No! That shit wont fly. OH LOUIS YOU FUCKING IDIOT! Why did you lie in the first place!? What do you do now?!... Wait I know! Continue the lie! Pretend to call your sister then play it from there. Ya know Louis thats so crazy it just might work. I pulled my mobile out and called my house.

The phone rang and rang and rang, then went to the answering machine. I pretended my sister picked up "Uh hi Erryn, It's uh Louis, I was wondering if you can pick me up from the doctors? Uh like now-ish? Yeah. Yeah. Alright, cool, thanks, I'll see you soon." Genius, Louis, Genius. I dont know why but damn that was smooth. Ok now on to phase two trying to get out of this place. I may be able to wait outside or something then I can just sneak away. The nurse re-entered looked at my toe to see if the bleeding had stopped, it pretty much had. I put my thongs on with difficulty. The nurse began to tidy "Let me just get some of this stuff out of the way, I dont wont your sister to be scared by all this stuff" I cracked a weak smile and said "Uh yeah" ok this was bad I was hoping that I could just leave now and say that I'd meet my sister in the parking lot. "Uh... I was thinking I might just wait for my sister outside she'll be here soon"
"No you dont have to do that! You can just wait in here and then your sister can come in and get you" I grimaced
"Oh ok" Fuck! I have to get out of here! Before I dig a deeper hole. I searched my puny brain for an idea. I found one "Perhaps I should go wait in the waiting room? I mean I dont want my sister to be freaked out by all this surgical stuff" The nurse agreed. She took me into the waiting room found me a seat and propped my leg up agaisnt another seat to try to prevent my toe bleeding. I peeredthrough the window. Freedom! I was so close to it. "I have some things I need to do, so are you ok to wait here?"
"Uh yeah I'll be fine" I smiled. The nurse left. Gasp! Here's my chance. I leaned over to the women sitting next to me "Excuse me, if that nurse comes back can you tell here my sister came and picked me up?" the women nodded "Great". I casually limped to the door opened it, looked around checking for the nurse, walked the first ten metres... then bolted. I got to the corner and my thong came off. "Fuck!" I took it off my bandaged foot. "You Motherfucker!" I cursed the stupid tiny thong. The nurse had told me not to get the bandage dirty and to avoid walking. I began running with my bandaged foot now barefoot. They'll never catch me! To walk from the doctors surgery to my house takes about ten minutes. After foot surgery and a fat bandage on your toe it takes about thirty minutes. With every step I took I covered about a quarter of a metre. I power walked over dirt rocks and bitchumen all the while trying to prevent filth getting on my toe. I could see blood seeping through the bandage. Now that the anaesthetic was wearing off my toe felt weird and hurty. I could feel it throbbing beneath the bandage. With every step I began going "Owe! Owe! Owe! Owe!" When ever I walked past someone they looked at me funny with a 'Whatthefuck?' expression usually painted on their face. I ignored them and finally made it home. I looked at the top of the bandage. Blood had seeped through. I looked at the bottom it was jet black with dirt and other grime.

The next day I returned to the surgery to get the bandage changed. The nurse I had lied to changed it. "So your sister came and picked you up yesterday?"
"Yeah" I lied.
"So how are you getting home today?"
"I drove" thankgod this time I was telling the truth.

Edit: Minor edit. Turns out Tom was on my team! Sorry about the inconvienience, only a minor mistake which has now been rectified.

This Story is long and so I have broken it into two parts, if you dont like reading long entries, then a good option is to read part 1 one night and then part 2 the next night.


PART 1
Ahhhh the art of paintball. For centuries MEN have shot paintballs at each other for some reason... and as a man, I have done the same for some reason. In my short life I have been paintballing twice and both times I learned alot. Usually the first thing you learn about paintball is "Ow! Those paintball thingy's hurt!". That's right I stole that quote from Daria but that doesn't make it any less true. Getting hit by a paintball is like getting punched really hard. consequently it is best to not get hit by them. Let me begin.

The first time I went paintballing was in year 8 for Tom Craig's birthday. This was a learning experience. Through this experience I found out that if I was ever in a war I would die really fast. I had just finished playing a game of football and had my mother drive me to the paintball place which I believe was in Deep Creek or something, it takes about 2 hours or more to get to this place, its down south. Anyway I arrived, got suited up and learned about the ancient art of paintball. We entered the arena, the place was huge, there were several battlefields that you could choose from and plenty of trees for cover. Let me just say it is amazing how much paintball is like the warfare you see in movies. There is so much action and glory and paint! Oh and everything goes in slow-motion... atleast when you remember it. Anyway the first game we played was capture the flag, or maybe it was storm the fort... Well it doesnt matter what the objective was. We seperated into two teams. The good team and Tom's team. I was on the Tom's team. Which could've also be called Team Suck. We also had four other guys join the respective teams. We didnt know these guys but they played with us. The Good team got the two skilled paintball strangers while my team got the unskilled ones. These guys were complete fuckheads, as you will learn later in the story. The first game got underway. I decided I would defend our fort rather then attack theirs. Greg also decided to defend our fort. About ten minutes into the game I couldnt help but realise that I hadnt seen any of our other team mates for sometime.

"Hey, Greg?"
"Yeah?"
"Uh do you know where all our team mates are"
"Uhhh I think I saw Tom Van Shaik by that tree a minute ago" I peered over our wall.
"Greg he's not there anymore!"
"Really?"
"Yeah! I think we're the last ones left"
At that moment the back of our fort came under seige. Out of nowhere Nick Holdenesse and Johno Papps sprang out and unleashed a volley of shots at me. Whack! "Ahhh! Fuck!" a paintball hit me square in the centre of my back. "Ahhh god!" I growned in pain. I stuck my gun in the air to indicate I was dead and walked out of the battlefield my face twisted in agony. As I recovered from the pain I found that the paintball that hit me in the back actually hadn't popped so techniqually I never died. Our team got thrashed. The next game was held in a battlefield with trenches. People sat in the trenches and took pot shots at each other. Slowly my team again decreased in numbers till I only had a few teammates left. I decided I was going to try and flank their trench and so abrudtly left my trench and snuck through the trees till I was near their trench. I emerged from the woods and walked to a tree for cover. When I noticed no one was there I stood up and walked towards the enemies trench. Suddenly, out of nowhere came Sam King, who of course was on the opposition's team. I froze, his gun rose, I was very unprepared. I realised I was going to die. He began to shoot, his gun making the classic 'Thoomp!' sound as each paintball left the chamber. In a last ditch effort to save my life I dived to the left and hit the ground firing shots, I thought I may have a chance of hitting him first till... Smack! The world went orange. I felt confused, then it dawned on me. He'd hit me right between the eyes.

Sam King would become my nemesis in this paintball war. Unfortunately he won the war... and every battle. Time and again, game after game. He shot me, while I shot no one. Again... and again... and again. We got to the third to last game, This game was set in a valley battlefield, there were barracades and barrels on either side of the valley. The remaining battles were set in this place. The battle begun, I found myself crouching on the upper side of the valley in my team's territory, the game had been going for about twenty seconds when I spotted something off in the distance it was a little orange dot. "What is that?" I thought, it grew closer. It was making a swirling motion, it grew closer, getting larger. I was hypnotised. I couldnt move, I couldnt take my eyes off it, The world was stuck in slow-motion. Closer it came. The dot was now a large sphere. Closer, still swirling. It grew to a gigantic size and then...ORANGE. I fell on my ass. Five seconds later I realised once again I had been shot between the eyes with a paintball. This paintball however had been shot from fifty meters away. I had a good three seconds to move out its way. Any normal person would have dodged it with ease. But not me. I like pretty colours and swirly things! I was once again I corpse, KIA. FUCK! I went and sat in the safe area. The new round started. This would be my last round... and for good reason. My team began on the otherside of the valley. This side had a big patch of scrub and trees at the top before you got to the valley part which had no trees but a few barracades. The douchebag strangers who were on our team decided to give my team a pep talk before we went out to fight "Alright! Listen up!" Everyone turned and listened "Alright! I'm fucking tired of fucking losing all the time(Our team had not won a single game) so this time around I want everyone to charge forward as fast as possible and just full out attack, and if you don't I will fucking shoot you myself!" I have no idea why we took shit from these fucking assholes who had designated themselves 'leaders' of our group. For some reason I decided to do as they asked, probably because I didnt want to get shot again especially by my own team memebers. We began, I became determined and lead the pack. I charged through the scrub and eventually emerged from the bushes and jumped down a small drop off. What I found made my blood turn cold

I gasped. I was out in the open with no cover. Behind me were trees but it would take me a good eight seconds to get back to them, I would have to climb the drop off before I got to the trees. On the otherside of the valley was every single member of the opposing team safely sitting behind their barracades. Even from fourty meters away I could see a grin form on every single one of their faces as they trained their guns at me. There was an eerie silence. I turned to look at my team mates emerging from the bush behind me. They weren't emerging, because they werent there!!! They had not gone through with the plan! EVEN THE DOUCHEBAG STRANGERS HADNT CHARGED!!! I was all alone. There was about five seconds of nothing. I stared in horror, mouth agape, then muttered to myself "Fuck me...". What follwed was a thirtysecond barrage of paintballs. I must have been hit about twenty times. "AH FUCK! I'M HIT! I'M HIT!". They knew this but it didnt stop them. I must have been hit in each hand about four times respectively(and that is one of the worst places to get hit). My gun was stuck in the air, but they kept firing. I ran from the battlefield screaming for mercy. I ran to safety area and collapsed in the dirt "arghhhhh..." I squeaked in pain. That was it for me. I was sick of being a paintball magnet or an easy kill. There was one more round. I watched. The rules were if you enter the paintball safe area you can not re-enter the battlefield until next round. One of the douche strangers entered the safe area during the battle. He talked to his friend "Fuck this man, This sucks I'm gonna go waste my paintballs on someone" He left. I watched him sneak behind three of the opposition and I stared in disbelief as he offloaded about fifteen paintballs into their backs without mercy. I watched in horror. He left while they rithed on the ground in pain then returned to the safety zone "Did you see that man? that was wicked!" The douch and his douche friend laughed. I was horrified. The poor guys had just been playing the game fairly, they knew no one would be able to sneak up behind them, that is unless they cheated and exited the safety area. It infuriated me because the victims were people I went to school with, it wasnt like this guy had done it to his douchey friends. A devious thought came to me. I had about ten paintballs still left in my gun. These guys, had their backs to me they were still laughing. I could avenge my fellow paintball buddies. All I had to do was squeeze the trigger, I raised my gun, my hands were shaking. "DO IT LOUIS! DO IT! AVENGE! AVENGE!". I hesitated, then put my gun down. "No" I thought to myself "Enough paint has been spilt today". That was the end of my first paintball adventure. I had been killed in every game, and humiliated and much of it was due to the douchebags on my team. One year later I would embark on my second paintball experience. This time it would be different...

PART 2
It was year 9 and it was Sam Adam's birthday. For his birthday he had decided to go paintballing. Great! I finally had my chance to restore my honour. This time the paintball would be at Old Noarlunga. The place was much smaller then Deep Creek and there was only one battle field. It was a valley with two sets of trenches on either side and a small area where the flags went for "Capture the flag". In the centre there was a boardwalk and some barracades for cover. The paintball owner quickly explained the game to us and quite simply lied about several aspects of the game and the capacity of the weapons. Soon teams where picked the teams where mainly comprised of Scotch people I didnt know and then there was also Nick Breaden, Daniel and I. I had Sam and Nick B on my team, and several Scotch guys plus Sam's brother Max and his Dad . The other team had Dubs, Daniel, Dan(Sam's other brother) plus of course several Scotch guys. The first round was underway. I once again made the poor decision to defend. My team was obliterrated in about five minutes. I was one of two people left, Dan ran past me and I fired wildly at him. I missed. He got to our flag grabbed it and fired back at me. Whack! I was hit in the hand between the pinky and that other useless finger on the hand next to the pinky. "AHHHHGHHH!!! FUUUUUCK!!!!" I screamed. I stuck my gun in the air to indicate my death. My hand shook like crazy. Dan ran past me with the flag which he would take back to his base. This was by far the worst paintball injury I had recieved. I looked at my hand, blood was trickling down it, it was mixed with paint which was an orangey red colour. I walked to the paintball owner guy and showed him my injury. "Just wash it off mate, its only paint". Only one quarter of it was paint the rest was blood. I became discouraged. Dammit! The first game and I've already picked up my paintball suckiness where it left off. We swaped to the other side of the valley. The second game began, this time I would prove myself, I just knew it.

I game began and I waited about two minutes before I moved position. I didnt want to be one of the first to get shot. However this time I was not defending, it was time to attack. I crawled over to a crater, there I found Sam's brother Max. "Hey Louis, Come here" He motioned me over"See that barracade?"
"Yeah" I responded.
"Dubs is behind that, I have him pinned, he's fucked" I grinned in delight, we waited for about five minutes every now and again Dubs poked his head out and Max took a potshot at him. Dubs would then duck his head back behind cover and yell "Fuck!". Max got bored and left. I remained. Dubs sensing the danger had gone emerged from his cover and ran to a barracade closer to our base, he was now in my full view, he had no cover from the flank I was on. I unleashed about five shots. Whack! "Ah fuck!" I hit him. YEEEEEESSSS!!! my first ever paintball kill! Things were turning around for me. As the game wore on I slowly changed to the other flank of the valley. I found Nick B sitting on the flank. "Nick" I panted "We're the only ones left"
"I know" he replied. The other team had four guys left. We needed to take their flag and return it to our base, but that was impossible they would destroy us if we tried. There were two enemies on the other flank that had us pinned. It was hopeless if Nick and I survived until the time limit ran out we could atleast get a draw. "Two minutes left guys!" yelled the Paintball Man from the sideline. It was then that my deceased team mates started yelling "Go Louis! You have to get the flag! It's up to you!" and so forth. "No!" I thought to myself "I can't do it, I'm no hero! I'm a sham! A failure! A no talent paintball loser!" They continued their ranting "Come on Louis, you can do it!" I had a moment of clarity. "What are you Louis A MAN OR A MOUSE!? ARE YOU GONNA SIT HERE AND DIE!? OR ARE YOU GONNA DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!?" I started to get revved up "DO IT FOR YOUR FALLEN COMRADES, YOU REMEMBER LOUIS? DONT YOU?" The thought of the douchebag shooting my poor school buddies in the back last year flashed into my mind. "IT'S TIME TO DO IT LOUIS, IT'S TIME TO STAND UP AND BE A MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!" I rose from the dirt I was crouching on and turned to my remaining comrade "Nick? I need you to cover me"
"You got it" he replied
I looked into the dark fortress infront of me that was their base, and with a look of grim Clint Eastwood like determination I spoke "I'm getting the flag..."

For this next part imagine that its in slow-motion. Because that's how it plays out in my head. For background music think of the music it plays in Forest Gump during that inspirational moment when he first starts sprinting. Ya know the "Run Forest! Run!" part and his leg braces brake off and he runs away from the bullies.

I began to run. I ran past the centre of the battlefield. Nick was laying down supressing fire, so that the enemy on my opposite flank couldn't shoot at me. I ran past their first trench and saw a shocked Daniel. I kept running he was crouching when he first saw me but now he fell onto his back and unleashed a volley of paintballs. I whipped out my gun and holding it in only one hand started firning shots. Thomp! Thomp! Thomp! went my gun as I unleashed my deadly Arsenal then suddenly the Thomps! turned to Phhhht! Oh Shit I was out of ammo! Could this be the end for Louis Wenzel??? YOU BET YOUR ASS IT WASNT!!! I wasnt finished yet. With matrix like agility I dodged every single paintball that Daniel shot at me. I made it past his trench and past the others and found myself looking at... the flag.

I gasped, it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. It was my trophy, it was my glory, it was... my precious... I grabbed the dirty rag and bolted. Like an olympic athelete about to win a gold medal in the 100m sprint. I ran, Daniel was still shooting at me, but I was invinceable no one was gonna take this victory from me. I was defying the laws of physics and paintball, I was climbing my Everest, slaying my demons, and kicking a rather large monkey off my back. The whole time the Forest Gump music was travelling through my head. "You are the greatest Louis! You're gonna do it! You are a Hero! Run Louis, RUN LIKE THE WIND!" I ran past Nick still laying down the covering fire. I was within forty meters of my base "They're never gonna catch me, I'm too far away, I'm gonna make it! I'm gonna make it! I AM THE GRRRRRRREEEEEAAAAATTTTTTEEEE...."
"Times UP!"


Yelled the paintball man. I fell over in shock. Quickly I stood up and hoped no one noticed my stumble. "What!?" I yelled
"Times up! The round is over!" I went into a quiet shock then looked to the sky and said quietly "Why?" this was quickly followed by the string of profanity. "Dammit!" I yelled at myself "I was so close, the glory was mine! After all this time!!!" I walked over to my team mates "Did you guys see that I almost won the game for us! I was sooooo close!" They were impressed that I managed to get the flag but didnt see it as quite the glorious moment I did. The next round I chose to sit back and not go all out. I was tired now. Much to my team's surprise. The other team charged us. Which wasnt a bad idea except half their team chickened out and hid instead. One of these notable 'Chickens' was Daniel Lange. He ended up being opposition's final team member. I laughed as he hid under a tree while all my team mates (we didnt lose a single player) converged on him and took pot shots at him till he finally got hit. Before this happened however the charge unsettled our team a bit. A flood of opposition came at us but we picked them off. Dan jumped over one of our trenches and ran towards the flag, my team mates panicked, but I cooley pulled my gun out aimed at him and WHACK! hit him in the side. Half a second later he was hit by three more paintballs from my team mates. I had kill number two. I was pleased with myself, I had gone from a paintball rookie to a cold blooded veteren. Alright exaggerration on the 'veteren' part I hadnt improved that much but I was better. I mean I did almost win a round for my team and I had two kills now. Soon it was over. I learned alot from these experiences, I reflected sitting in Sam's Mum's Tarago. I learned that paintball is hell, the pain of getting hit by a paintball and the trauma of watching your best friend covered in paint dying in the middle of the battlefield. So while there were positives I will ultimately never forget... The horror.... The horror... that is ....................... paintball....

Let me start off by telling the readers this entry is not about Middleton nor is it about schoolies. This story is about the Beachwood Caravan Park. Now muchos of you would've noticed I have a stupid caravan infront of my house. This has for years embarrassed me. Owning a caravan makes us look poor. Anyway back until a few years ago I used to have to join my parents on a annual trip to this shitty caravan park located next to Maslin Beach(a nudist beach). Despite the fact these trips sucked, strange things happened everytime we went.

Let me start with the end of year seven. Year seven had ended and it was the middle of January. It was time for our anual trip to Beachwood. When ever we went to Beachwood we also had our Family friends Ali and Imre come with us. They had kids Mia (who's my age) and Lara (Who's my sister Erryn's age). We had been friend with their kids since we were born, my sister and I that is. Anyway this summer was once again utterly boring until Mia became friends with an absolutely stunningly gorgeous girl called Marina. I became smitten with her although I'm pretty sure she never felt the same way. After that trip I started calling her every few days. Even though she lived in Whyalla, I was determined to make her mine. I thought I was doing a reasonable job of wooing her too until one day when I rung and she said "Guess what!"
"What?"
"I have a boyfriend!"
"oh... that's... great"

Anyways that was the end of that. That was my highlight of that summer minus someone burning their tent down. Gee, I dont know how it happened!? I think reading by candlelight in a tent is a swell idea! oh and someone was murdered 200 metres from our campsite. Some tall guy. Was shot in the face. It was on the news the day we left aswell as a birdseye view of the caravan park, and you could see our campsite! on the news! I felt so proud I went and rang all my friends after the trip and was like "Hey guess who had someone murdered 200 metres from their campsite!" Anyway apart from that it had been a pretty uneventful summer.

The next summer was different. Alot of shit happened this time around. Sam (Adams) accompanied me to Beachwood this year, which lead to a major rise in whackiness. As usual Mia and her family also came, this year Mia also brought a friend, Nina. Mia was obsessed with swimming, as the park had a pool and so her and Nina would spend basically every waking hour in the swimming pool, getting really sunburnt. The pool was the 'hip' place to hang in the caravan park and it was often where friendships were formed. Sam and I were not nearly as keen on the pool and consequently only went swimming occasionally instead of obssesively like the girls. Being at the pool so long ensured that Mia and Nina made friend with a number of kids. They became friends with a girl called Jess. Just like last summer I became smitten with this girl and went out of my way to impress her whenever I could. She was a goddess. Unfortunately she wasnt around enough for me to do this. One time she was sitting in our caravan. I was sitting inbetween Mia and her. As a brash act of desperation I made the decision to take off my shirt to try to impress her. "Boy it sure is hot in here, especially sitting inbetween you ladies, I think I better take off my shirt" I removed my shirt and sat bare chested between them. No reaction. "Maybe I'll uh, just put it back on" It occured to me I was an idiot and a scrawny 13 year old. My actions were out of sheer desperation to get to know this girl before we left. After all we were only here for a week. Unfortunately I never got to know Jess better. 'sigh' what could've been...

The other people that Mia and Nina made friends with was a group of guys about two years older and considerably bigger and meaner then Sam and I. Lets call them 'Assholes'. As soon as these guys realised Sam and I were with Mia and Nina they went out of their way to be absolute dicks to us. Once Sam and I were talking to Mia and Nina near the pool and the 'Assholes' decided they would try and spit on us from the pool. Fortunately they missed. Another time when Sam was swimming in the pool he bumped into one of the 'Assholes' and the 'Asshole' consequently turned glared at him then turned back to his friend and said 'pfff fag'. Sam and I hated these guys with a passion and purely because they were so mean to us for no reason. What annoyed us further was that Mia and Nina liked these guys despite their Assholeness. Once when Sam and I were hanging out with Mia and Nina the 'Assholes' arrived and started flirting with the girls. They decided that they might have a better chance with the girls if they made Sam and I look bad. The king Asshole set about it. In a patronizing tone to Sam and I he said "Have you boys ever gotten with a girl?"
"No" We both replied with deathstares
"Really? Never?" He chuckled.
"You've never gotten with a girl Louie?" asked Mia making it worse. Sam and I were only thirteen at the time and while I had kissed a girl or two I had never actually 'gotten' with a girl before, nor had Sam. We left shortly afterwards cursing the assholes. "What the fuck!?" yelled Sam in outrage "Fuck those dicks Louis! Fuck them! they can only say that shit to us because their bigger then us!"
"I don't get it Sam, why do they(Mia and Nina) let those Assholes hang around them!?"
We continued to curse their names long into the night. We awoke in the morning and found out the 'Assholes' had left.

"YEEEEEES!!! Those Fuckwits are gone!" I yelled. This was great! The guys who'd been making our time at the caravan park miserable were gone! We werent the only ones that disliked them Jess(my crush) had been getting out of the pool the otherday when one of them grabbed her leg, she slipped and banged her shin on the edge of the pool. This split her shin open and she had to go to hospital and get stitches. Her hatred for them made me like her more. Unfortunately Jess soon left to stay with a friend for a few days. This annoyed me. Sam and I spent the rest of our days making fun of Mia and Nina. We dished out countless insults about Mia and Nina liking older men, considering they liked the 'Assholes' who were about two years older then they were. One day Sam and I were paying out Nina about this subject when Sam started to doodle something on a piece of paper. Nina was calling us 'mean' or something when Sam handed me the piece of paper. I took one glimpse of the paper and just lost it, I have never laughed so hard. It looked like this.



I was rolling on the ground laughing and Sam was chuckling to himself. "Let me see" asked Mia we showed it to her she tried to keep a strait face but started giggling "Thats mean you guys" we didnt care, it was too funny. "Let me see!" demanded Nina. We held out for a while before we finally handed it to her. She looked at it and frowned "Sam!" she yelled "You guys ARE mean". The fact that the girls liked older men would turn out to be a weird ironic twist.

It was one of the last days of our trip and Sam and I were sitting in Ali n Imre's caravan doing nothing really. The girls had gone off somewhere looking for some place they had been told about. Sam and I had no idea what this place was but the girls were keen to see it for some reason. Anyways here we were just lounging around in the caravan when the door swung upon and Mia and Nina ran in with 'Oh My God!' expressions on their faces. "Oh my god! You guys will never guess what happened to us!" said Nina
"What?" I replied
"Kevin was saying these weird things to us!" exclaimed Mia
"Kevin you mean the grounds keeper guy?"
"Yeah we were going to that place(note: I forget what this place was so I'll just refer to it as that place) and he drove past us in his car as we were walking there and said he could give us a lift, then he started saying weird things to us!" I looked over at Sam he didn't really buy it nor did I "Oh you two are just exaggerrating"
"No were not!"
"Well what did he say?"
"He said that we were good looking girls and stuff and said we should go overseas in a few years and go to like South East Asia and get drunk and fuck our tits off and we'd be able to get away with it even if we're underage and he said other weird stuff, oh, then he told us not to tell our parents this" I sat and absorbed what they had just told me. "Uh huh....mmmm that is pretty weird and very creepy.... have you told our parents?"
"Yes!"

And indeed it was creepy that a forty five year old man was trying to pull moves on thirteen year old girls! It turns out that Kevin who is the caravan park groundskeeper also owns half the bussiness with his ex-wife. The reason she is his ex-wife is because apparently in the past there had been other incidents with Kevin and young girls. Consequently when we left my parents wrote Kevin's ex-wife a letter to let her know what had happened. Also as a final payback my mum wrote on the dirt on our back windscreen KEVIN IS A PERVERT. Our summer caravan trip had ended and we never returned to that caravan park. I think we'd all just grown tired of the love, fire, murder , assholes, and pedophilea that was Beachwood Caravam Park.

Ah the story of my pantless adventures, good ol' fasion fun those days were. A legend it became! But many have not heard the tales of how against the odds I stuck it out, shoved it right up to the man, slapped it in the face of authority, where others pants stood firm mine fell and so on. It began two years ago with the end of a school day. I was walking home with James, Rhys and Dodds when James said "Hey do you guys want to come over to my house and watch the Jackass Movie?". So we went to his house and watched the movie on his computer. It was thoroughly entertaining and by the end of it ideas were starting to swim around in my head. Later that night I was talking to Pat on MSN telling him we needed to come up with our own crazy pranks. Then it hit me, like my sister (uh just kidding Erryn). "Thats it Pat!, Genius!"
"What?"
"I have the best idea ever!"
And indeed I did. Nick Schultze's 16th Birthday party was this week. This provided the perfect setting for my brilliant plan/prank.

I arrived at Nick's at about 7 30 and for an hour or so amused myself by talking to my friends. But I was keen to get things rolling. Soon it was dark and I managed to get a small group of people to follow me. I told them my plan and we walked a few streets away from Nicks house. I found a suitable house and said to the others "Ok wait here, it's time to get this party started". I undid my belt, unzipped my pants, took them off then handed them to someone. Pantless I walked to the front door feeling the nip of the cool breeze on my godlike thighs. I knocked on the door, after a few seconds a middle aged women came to the door. She saw me pantless and raised her eyebrows. I began.

"Ya gotta help me! I was walking home and this big group of guys came up to me and said that I had to give them my pants or they'd beat me up! So I did and now I dont have any pants! SO CAN I BORROW SOME PANTS!?"
She looked at my skeptically and replied "Get lost kid" then slammed the door in my face
"BUT I DONT HAVE ANY PANTS!!! C'MON!!!" no reply. I walked triumphantly back to my small posse they were in awe. "Woah man I cant believe you did that!" said Joel in disbelief
"It was nothing" I replied with arrogance. We moved on to a few other houses and I did the same thing. We returned to Nick's and I went around the party telling people what I did. "For real!?!?!"
"Yeah man, took them off, knocked on the door and just asked them for pants, I'm gonna do it again in like another forty minutes you should come with"
People were rustled up and about twenty of us started walking into Blackwood. Brilliant, I now had a great audience. Also I now had some wingmen. Pat and Jono started running around in their underwear, they ran up to the front of a resturant and began dancing with each other half naked much to the diner's surprise. I decided to change my act. I decided that I would change from the pity act to just being plain stupid, thus began "The Quest For The Pants".

Ding Dong! I rang the doorbell and gave Alex a thumbs up as he recorded with his video camera from the bush. I had my fellow knights behind me in Pat and James I think Joel may have been hanging around there too... I forget. I was ready to get this show on the road. The others watched from the side of the street. The door opened. I stood pantless infront of a very suprised possibly terrified teenage girl and began. "I...!" I put my hands on my hips and looked to the sky"...am on the quest for pants!". She took a step back from the door and watched wide eyed as I continued "We are travelling by and are in need of more comrades to help us on our quest for the holy pants! Will you join our party fair maiden!? We shall travel for twenty nights and twenty days, and upon our return with the sacred pants we shall feast like kings, dance, laugh and be merry!" Her mother appeared at the door. "Whats going on?"
"I am on the quest for pants" I replied
"What?"
"My fellow knights and I..." I turned to look at them. They were gone "hmmm..." I said perplexed (They fled when the mother appeared because apparently they knew the family or something)
"Alright! You've had your fun now get out of here!" said Angry Mum
" So you will not join my party?" Slam! The door was shut and the prank was over.
"Fairwell dear maiden!" I called out as I ran down the driveway. I ran to Alex and his camera" Did you get that?!"
He looked at the footage "Nah sorry man it was too dark, and the sound didnt really get picked up either"
"Dammit!'
I was annoyed my ultra cool prank hadnt been caught on camera but atleast I could still bask in the glory I had generated. "YES! YES! I fucking rule! Louis how did you get so good!!!!" I thought to myself. For the most part the action from that night was over, but it wasn't the end of my pantless days.


A few weeks later I attended a Scotch party. From my recollection it was one of Norris's parties during my partying I had several Scotch people come up to me and say "Hey man I heard you took off your pants and knocked on peoples doors and asked for more pants" I was all like
"Yeah that's right, I did that"
"Woah man are you gonna do that again"
"You bet!"

This takes me to Sam's party. This party was a rather small party but still fun never the less. Of course with Sam's earlier parties it lacked girls so I invited my friend Nina. After a few hours of partying people decided it was time for me to take my pants off again. So we walked up Sam's road and down Gloucester Avenue. I picked a house took my pants off and handed them to Nina. "Alright everyone, watch this!" I headed for the door and pressed the door bell. A man aged in his mid sixties answered. He looked at me and said "Hello"
"Hi" I said awkwardly" Um... This is kind of embarrassing but I was walking home and these guys threatened to beat me up unless I gave them my pants and so I did because I didnt want to get beaten up and now I have to walk home and I have NO PANTS! So I was wondering do you have any pants I can borrow?"
"Hmmm..." He replied "I'm sorry but I dont think I have any pants I can spare". I blinked then said "That's alright I'll uh just try another house" I walked away and felt slightly surprised someone would be so polite to a dumb ass teenager trying to score a free pair of pants. I moved onto the next house. Nina complemented me on how brave I was and I gave her a "Well ya know, it's nothing really" response. Now it was time for a "Quest for the pants". I again found myself with some fellow Pantless Knights. This time they were Scotch Knights. " I knocked on the door and a man in his forties answered. "I am on the quest for pants" I shouted. The man began to chuckle, obviously quite amused. "Will you join our party? We plan to tra..." I was interupted by Sir Norris standing pantless behind me "We are on the quest for pants!" he bellowed. The man was grinning at us and his son was poking his head out from behind him to see what was going on. "Any particular reason you boys are on this quest?" I broke character
"Well not really, we never really thought of that we just want some pants"
"We are on the quest for pants, will you join us" yelled Norris. It was at this point that the others who had been watching decided to jump us. "RUCKUS!!!" they yelled as the jumped the fence and tried to deck us. "Watch out for me garden!" yelled the man over the turmoil. We all ran away back to Sam's and continued drinking. Now was the time for a different but equally brilliant prank.

In this part I keep my pants on but its still funny and a story I like to tell at parties, please feel free to ask and I will tell you this story next party as it sounds good when I do it accents and all. At about eleven o'clock at night we decided that Ferney needed to go through the carwash. We were in the mood for pranks and this was a good one. We all walked to BP and went on our way to organising the prank. I stood and watched the others work out the details and raise the money to pay for the car wash. It was at this point I realised I was really quite hammered. Norris walked over to me and handed me about a gwazillion fifty cent pieces. "Alright Louis it's up to you to order the carwash, now here's the money... oh and order it in a crazy accent". I staggered as cooly as possible into BP with a stupid blues brother hat on, a loud Hawaiian shirt and my arm around Nina, oh and ofcourse sunglasses. I walked to the girl at the counter and said in a thick Russian accent "Me and my wife would like carwash!"
The girl looked at me with an 'oh great another drunk idiot teenager' look. "Ok well there are three different types of carwash which would you like?" I looked at the gazillion billion 50 cent pieces in my hand and it occured to me I did not have the capacity to count my mountain of money. "Uhhhhh I can not count my money will you do it for me?"
"Um ok" she took my change and counted "You have $8.50 you can only afford this one" she pointed to the chart at the cheapest one. "Then I will have that one!" I replied with a big cheesy grin. I walked out to the group. Ferney had whipped off his shirt and was ready for his wash. The car wash began and he entered as the sprinklers turned on, soon the big raggedy rolly spinny things came down and he walked inbetween them. I grimaced as he did because it looked like it would hurt. Suddenly the carwash stopped and the BP girl walked out. Everyone bolted back to Sam's. As we ran I yelled to the BP girl in my accent "THANKYOU FOR CARWASH!!!!!"

THE END

This story began with Sam's idea to steal an exit sign and ultimately ended in the bin. Let me begin. I believe it was a friday night and we (Sam,Daniel,James,Dodds,and I) were bored. Sam had for some time known that there was a hanging exit sign on a walkway outside a classroom at Scotch College. Sam suggested that we take it. We agreed. Later that night when most people were asleep in their beds we decided to pounce. We drove to Scotch, I ran into about gazillion spider webs as we snuck onto the big oval, we crept across the large grassy oval making sure to use the shadows to our advantage. Finally we made it to the big quadrangle where the sign was. To get to the sign you had to go up the stairs and walk about two meters to the left. Daniel and James were assigned the task of securing the sign, while they did this the rest of us secured the area. I was standing in the shadows when Sam came over to me "Louis be careful there's a security camera in the tuck shop"
"Really? woah"


From then on we shielded our faces whenever we walked past the tuck shop(which you needed to do when you walked to the stairs which led to the exit sign). After a few minutes, James and Daniel came down the stairs holding the exit sign. We were all held in awe as it glowed tranquility onto us. For one very special moment everything was alright. "Yes we got it" cried James
"Ruckus man!" I replied.
As soon as we secured the sign we bolted. We sprinted across the grass and back to the car. Now that it was safely within our grasp we could sit in the car and look at it "Better put a jacket or something over that" said Sam
"I can't believe it's still glowing" Said James "Must have batteries" Replied Sam
We drove away into the night. The exit sign ended up staying with James and eventually went on to be Dubs's birthday present. Unfortunately it doesnt glow anymore.

Now to part 2 of this story. You would think we'd be happy with our exit sign, well sir/madame you are sadly wrong. We were hungry for more exit signs. So we began to search for more, we went to Unley High, Passadena High, Blackwood High, Mitcham Girls School, Belair Primary, Blackwood Primary, Craigburne Primary plus many more. Till one fateful night when we came to Mitcham Primary. A school built by Lucifer himself out of the bones of children. We drove down in Sam's Tarago (Well his mum's) We parked down the road from the primary school then strolled into the school grounds, the school appeared to be going through some renovations as there were parts fenced off and ruble everywhere. We walked around and soon realised there were no exit signs. We started looking through the rubble but found nothing of real interest. We walked back round to the front of the school. "Hey this sucks, lets go" Said I. The others agreed. "Wait a sec, Where's Daniel" Daniel had gone.

We waited for ten minutes. Dodds decided he wanted to get the chain rail on the fence next to the path, James had bolt cutters and cut the chain for him. Eventually we went and looked for Daniel. We walked around the whole school but couldnt find him, fed up we went back to the front of the school. I was walking infront of the others and turned around the corner first. What I found made my blood turn cold, my hair on the back of neck stand up and my face distort in horror. A white car was parked out front, about ten meters from where I was standing and in big blue letters it read CHUB.

Now to all those vandals and hooligans out there we all know about Chub. They are the shitty security that schools hire to patrol the schools every few hours to make sure the place isnt being vandalised or trashed etc. Chub are somewhat of a laughing stock which no one really takes seriously. However they are a threat. If they find yourself doing something bad they will chase you and they will call the cops. Therefore they are dangerous.

"What?" asked Dodds
"Chub" I whispered in panic The others turned the corner slowly and saw the car "What should we do?" asked James
"Bolt!" I whispered. There was a period of three seconds before this idea registered in everyone's mind and then we did exactly what I suggested. We ran across the oval and out the back of the school. While running James said "What about Daniel" my reply
"Fuck Daniel, it's his own fault he disappeared!"
We exited the school and found ourselves on a backstreet. I tried to call Daniel. No response. I tried again. No response. We walked back to Sam's car gingerly. I felt paranoid because there were Chub guys in the area. We made it back to Sam's car and I tried Daniel again. Success! "Daniel where are you?" This is his response one which I will never forget so long as I live.

"Louis, I'm in the bin".

"What!?"
"I'm in a bin, the Chub guy saw me and I hid in a bin"
"Really?"
"Yeah, Oh crap I gotta go, I can hear them" Hangs up
"So where is he" asked Dodds, I chuckled to myself as I replied
"He's in a bin"I explained to them Daniel's predicament. We waited a while then James checked the front of the school. The Chub were gone. I sent Daniel a message. He replied with a message saying "Make distracct" translation "make a distraction" I called him. He picked up
"God dammit Louis! stop calling they're gonna hear me" he whispered
"Daniel they're gone"
"...Oh" We sent James in to fetch him and they returned to Sam's car a few minutes later. He explained that he was looking for stuff in the junk and rubble when he saw a chub guy. The chub guy saw him also, luckily for Daniel there was a large fence blocking them, Daniel bolted to a wheelie bin and saw it as his only chance. He climbed in and waited. The Chub guys prowled around outside. Daniel waited inside the bin as he heard their footsteps. Soon they were gone and his troubles were over. We drove off into the night laughing at Daniel and his folly.I've told Daniel many times that he'll end up in the gutter one day, little did I know he'd end up in a bin.