Ah the story of my pantless adventures, good ol' fasion fun those days were. A legend it became! But many have not heard the tales of how against the odds I stuck it out, shoved it right up to the man, slapped it in the face of authority, where others pants stood firm mine fell and so on. It began two years ago with the end of a school day. I was walking home with James, Rhys and Dodds when James said "Hey do you guys want to come over to my house and watch the Jackass Movie?". So we went to his house and watched the movie on his computer. It was thoroughly entertaining and by the end of it ideas were starting to swim around in my head. Later that night I was talking to Pat on MSN telling him we needed to come up with our own crazy pranks. Then it hit me, like my sister (uh just kidding Erryn). "Thats it Pat!, Genius!"
"What?"
"I have the best idea ever!"
And indeed I did. Nick Schultze's 16th Birthday party was this week. This provided the perfect setting for my brilliant plan/prank.

I arrived at Nick's at about 7 30 and for an hour or so amused myself by talking to my friends. But I was keen to get things rolling. Soon it was dark and I managed to get a small group of people to follow me. I told them my plan and we walked a few streets away from Nicks house. I found a suitable house and said to the others "Ok wait here, it's time to get this party started". I undid my belt, unzipped my pants, took them off then handed them to someone. Pantless I walked to the front door feeling the nip of the cool breeze on my godlike thighs. I knocked on the door, after a few seconds a middle aged women came to the door. She saw me pantless and raised her eyebrows. I began.

"Ya gotta help me! I was walking home and this big group of guys came up to me and said that I had to give them my pants or they'd beat me up! So I did and now I dont have any pants! SO CAN I BORROW SOME PANTS!?"
She looked at my skeptically and replied "Get lost kid" then slammed the door in my face
"BUT I DONT HAVE ANY PANTS!!! C'MON!!!" no reply. I walked triumphantly back to my small posse they were in awe. "Woah man I cant believe you did that!" said Joel in disbelief
"It was nothing" I replied with arrogance. We moved on to a few other houses and I did the same thing. We returned to Nick's and I went around the party telling people what I did. "For real!?!?!"
"Yeah man, took them off, knocked on the door and just asked them for pants, I'm gonna do it again in like another forty minutes you should come with"
People were rustled up and about twenty of us started walking into Blackwood. Brilliant, I now had a great audience. Also I now had some wingmen. Pat and Jono started running around in their underwear, they ran up to the front of a resturant and began dancing with each other half naked much to the diner's surprise. I decided to change my act. I decided that I would change from the pity act to just being plain stupid, thus began "The Quest For The Pants".

Ding Dong! I rang the doorbell and gave Alex a thumbs up as he recorded with his video camera from the bush. I had my fellow knights behind me in Pat and James I think Joel may have been hanging around there too... I forget. I was ready to get this show on the road. The others watched from the side of the street. The door opened. I stood pantless infront of a very suprised possibly terrified teenage girl and began. "I...!" I put my hands on my hips and looked to the sky"...am on the quest for pants!". She took a step back from the door and watched wide eyed as I continued "We are travelling by and are in need of more comrades to help us on our quest for the holy pants! Will you join our party fair maiden!? We shall travel for twenty nights and twenty days, and upon our return with the sacred pants we shall feast like kings, dance, laugh and be merry!" Her mother appeared at the door. "Whats going on?"
"I am on the quest for pants" I replied
"What?"
"My fellow knights and I..." I turned to look at them. They were gone "hmmm..." I said perplexed (They fled when the mother appeared because apparently they knew the family or something)
"Alright! You've had your fun now get out of here!" said Angry Mum
" So you will not join my party?" Slam! The door was shut and the prank was over.
"Fairwell dear maiden!" I called out as I ran down the driveway. I ran to Alex and his camera" Did you get that?!"
He looked at the footage "Nah sorry man it was too dark, and the sound didnt really get picked up either"
"Dammit!'
I was annoyed my ultra cool prank hadnt been caught on camera but atleast I could still bask in the glory I had generated. "YES! YES! I fucking rule! Louis how did you get so good!!!!" I thought to myself. For the most part the action from that night was over, but it wasn't the end of my pantless days.


A few weeks later I attended a Scotch party. From my recollection it was one of Norris's parties during my partying I had several Scotch people come up to me and say "Hey man I heard you took off your pants and knocked on peoples doors and asked for more pants" I was all like
"Yeah that's right, I did that"
"Woah man are you gonna do that again"
"You bet!"

This takes me to Sam's party. This party was a rather small party but still fun never the less. Of course with Sam's earlier parties it lacked girls so I invited my friend Nina. After a few hours of partying people decided it was time for me to take my pants off again. So we walked up Sam's road and down Gloucester Avenue. I picked a house took my pants off and handed them to Nina. "Alright everyone, watch this!" I headed for the door and pressed the door bell. A man aged in his mid sixties answered. He looked at me and said "Hello"
"Hi" I said awkwardly" Um... This is kind of embarrassing but I was walking home and these guys threatened to beat me up unless I gave them my pants and so I did because I didnt want to get beaten up and now I have to walk home and I have NO PANTS! So I was wondering do you have any pants I can borrow?"
"Hmmm..." He replied "I'm sorry but I dont think I have any pants I can spare". I blinked then said "That's alright I'll uh just try another house" I walked away and felt slightly surprised someone would be so polite to a dumb ass teenager trying to score a free pair of pants. I moved onto the next house. Nina complemented me on how brave I was and I gave her a "Well ya know, it's nothing really" response. Now it was time for a "Quest for the pants". I again found myself with some fellow Pantless Knights. This time they were Scotch Knights. " I knocked on the door and a man in his forties answered. "I am on the quest for pants" I shouted. The man began to chuckle, obviously quite amused. "Will you join our party? We plan to tra..." I was interupted by Sir Norris standing pantless behind me "We are on the quest for pants!" he bellowed. The man was grinning at us and his son was poking his head out from behind him to see what was going on. "Any particular reason you boys are on this quest?" I broke character
"Well not really, we never really thought of that we just want some pants"
"We are on the quest for pants, will you join us" yelled Norris. It was at this point that the others who had been watching decided to jump us. "RUCKUS!!!" they yelled as the jumped the fence and tried to deck us. "Watch out for me garden!" yelled the man over the turmoil. We all ran away back to Sam's and continued drinking. Now was the time for a different but equally brilliant prank.

In this part I keep my pants on but its still funny and a story I like to tell at parties, please feel free to ask and I will tell you this story next party as it sounds good when I do it accents and all. At about eleven o'clock at night we decided that Ferney needed to go through the carwash. We were in the mood for pranks and this was a good one. We all walked to BP and went on our way to organising the prank. I stood and watched the others work out the details and raise the money to pay for the car wash. It was at this point I realised I was really quite hammered. Norris walked over to me and handed me about a gwazillion fifty cent pieces. "Alright Louis it's up to you to order the carwash, now here's the money... oh and order it in a crazy accent". I staggered as cooly as possible into BP with a stupid blues brother hat on, a loud Hawaiian shirt and my arm around Nina, oh and ofcourse sunglasses. I walked to the girl at the counter and said in a thick Russian accent "Me and my wife would like carwash!"
The girl looked at me with an 'oh great another drunk idiot teenager' look. "Ok well there are three different types of carwash which would you like?" I looked at the gazillion billion 50 cent pieces in my hand and it occured to me I did not have the capacity to count my mountain of money. "Uhhhhh I can not count my money will you do it for me?"
"Um ok" she took my change and counted "You have $8.50 you can only afford this one" she pointed to the chart at the cheapest one. "Then I will have that one!" I replied with a big cheesy grin. I walked out to the group. Ferney had whipped off his shirt and was ready for his wash. The car wash began and he entered as the sprinklers turned on, soon the big raggedy rolly spinny things came down and he walked inbetween them. I grimaced as he did because it looked like it would hurt. Suddenly the carwash stopped and the BP girl walked out. Everyone bolted back to Sam's. As we ran I yelled to the BP girl in my accent "THANKYOU FOR CARWASH!!!!!"

THE END